Wednesday, May 11, 2011

TWISTED TALES: Can I Get An AMEN!



Twisted Tales #2

Dearly Beloved, 
We are gathered here at Twisted Tales to love, cherish and obey the blessed works of Dr. Reverend Lance Carbuncle.  The church of can I get an amen is in session.  


The Man Behind the Pew
The Dr. Reverend Lance Carbuncle was born sometime during the last millennium and he’s been getting bigger, older and uglier ever since. Carbuncle is an ordained minister with the Church of Spiritual Humanism. Carbuncle doesn’t eat deviled eggs and he doesn’t drink cheap beer. Carbuncle doesn’t wear sock garters. Carbuncle does tell stories. Carbuncle’s stories are channeled through a pathetic little man who has to work a respectable job during the days in order to feed the infestation of children in his house. Carbuncle is the author of Smashed, Squashed, Splattered, Chewed, Chunked and Spewed  and the 2009 Reader’s Views Literary Awards Humorous Fiction Winner, Grundish and Askew.  Carbuncle’s third novel (unnamed at the present) will be released in autumn of 2011 by Vicious Galoot Books.
Seriously, can I get an AMEN!


Want to know what I thought about GRUNDISH & ASKEW?  Click on REVIEW
5-Star fictitious sickness!  Love it!


About Vicious Books

http://viciousbooks.com/about/
Vicious Books publishes the type of literature that is left of center.  Okay, WAY left of center, but for good reason.  It's not P.C. or does it bow to a mainstream audience and best of all, it won't be found at Oprah's book club.  What you will get is honest, thematically relevant, unapologetic, ironically embarrassing and guaranteed gross fun.  Most readers can relate to the characters even though they won't likely admit it (not even to their best friend or priest). The pages are packed with the gut-busting stuff that makes mankind so amusing to watch.  If you're the type of person who likes to eat boiled chicken breast, green salad with dressing on the side, I recommend sticking with the books on the cardboard display at the front of bookstore chains.  However, for the more adventurous -- those who eat at the taco wagon knowing there is a 50/50 chance they'll be barfing later, than these books are for you!  


Grundish and Askew
 GRUNDISH and ASKEW
Author Lance Carbuncle
Strap on your athletic cup and grab a barf bag. The Dr. Reverend Lance Carbuncle is going to kick you square in the balls and send you on a wild ride that may or may not answer the following questions: what happens when two white trash, trailer park-dwelling, platonic life partners go on a moronic and misdirected crime spree? Can their manly love for each other endure when one of them suffers a psychological bitch-slap that renders him a homicidal maniac? Will a snaggletoothed teenage prostitute tear them apart?; what is the best way to use a dead illegal alien to your advantage in a hostage situation? What's that smell? And, what the hell is Alf the Sacred Burro coughing up?Carbuncle's latest offering, Grundish and Askew, ponders these troubling questions and more. So sit down, put on some protective goggles, and get ready for Carbuncle to blast you in the face with a warm load of fictitious sickness.
Amazon
Smashed, Squashed, Splattered, Chewed, Chunked and Spewed

SMASHED, SQUASHED, SPLATTERED, CHEWED, CHUNKED, and SPEWED
Author Lance Carbuncle

Idjit Galoot has a problem. He escaped from his master's house for a brief romp around town, seeking out easy targets such as bitches in heat, fresh roadkill and unguarded garbage cans. When he returns to his house, the aged basset hound discovers that his master has packed up their belongings and moved to Florida without him. "Smashed, Squashed, Splattered, Chewed, Chunked and Spewed" is the story of Idjit Galoot's ne'er do well owner and his efforts to work his way back to the dog that he loves. Along the way, Idjit's owner encounters Christian terrorists, swamp-dwelling taxidermists, carnies, a b-list poopie-groupie, bluesmen on the run from a trickster deity, and the Florida Skunk Ape.


Bitsy Bling Books blog-followers can purchase Grundish and Askew on Smashwords.com at 40% off ($2.99) with the following coupon code: ZM55Q


GIVEAWAY!!! YAY!!! GIVEAWAY!!!! 
May 12 - 21.  Enter below.
I made it easy to get extra bonus points.  Just click to: 


LANCE CARBUNCLE DOT COM

3 comments :

  1. This sounds so interesting. Thanks for the giveaway!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Get all your favorite alcoholic drinks on Duty Free Depot!

    All the popular brand name beverages for unbeatable discounted prices.

    ReplyDelete